Ellie, you've had an incredibly difficult childhood filled with so much instability, and by the sounds of it, you're actually doing great considering everything. Realizing that it isn't YOU and isn't your fault is huge.

I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself afraid of abandonment (speaking as someone who, myself is afraid of abandonment). Just remember that you are enough and you can relax into the people who are kind to you, respect you, and show you unconditional care and support.