I know so many people who have been so damaged by this (myself included lol).

One of the things I think happens sometimes is that some parents have a hard time separating their children from themselves. They treat their children’s actions and achievements (and failures) as their own, and berate the child as they would berate themselves.

When I had trouble with math, and my mom was getting frustrated with me, I remember her saying to my dad, “we failed her.” I felt stupid and guilty, but also knew my mom was reacting as strongly as she was because she saw herself as a failing as a mother.

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