I wish I had the right words. All I can say is that everything you've said is fair and valid. Your pain is clear on the page, and I have so much appreciation for you sharing it, as difficult as it is to read.
I'm not Black, but I'm afraid every day for the members of my family who are. I see my partner and his mother manage their pain and fear with humor. I haven't figured out how to do that. I don't think I want to do that.
That almost half the country voted for this man AGAIN is appalling and devastating. I don't know how America moves past this.