It hurts so much when friends let you down like this. To me, it's the lack of communication, and then seeing that this friend is spending money on other things they probably don't need? That feels like being told that they don't value you.
The only times I've lent money in the past, I've done it knowing I wouldn't get the money back. I've thought of it more as a gift. But that's because I knew the financial situation and that as much as they might want to get the money back to me, they wouldn't be able to--not for many years.
I've also been the one to need money, and I have one friend who has said over and over that he will lend it. He always tells me not to worry about it, but I always give it back as quickly as I can (as long as he literally does not let me, which has happened).